Bees

Today the bees were going nuts for my dress. I had one on me while I was eating my lunch, and I got up and started shaking my dress to get it off, but it was too persistent, so I started running around the courtyard and spinning in circles to try and outrun it. It finally flew away. Of course, nobody knew there was a bee on me, they all probably thought I was crazy. A little baby walked over to me and started bouncing, as babies do when they dance. I thought it may have just been trying to get to my lunch (a scrumptious chicken wrap), but then I ran into this about an hour later:

Bees on Guarana: we're all fucked.

Allow me to tell you a story. I've told this story about a gazillion times, so those of you that know me have probably heard it before. But as Celine says in Before Sunrise, "I think I can really fall in love when I know everything about someone; the way he's going to part his hair, which shirt he's going to wear that day, knowing the exact story he'd tell  in a given situation. I'm sure that's when I know I'm really in love." I know yall love me.

When I was about 2 years old (not entirely sure what age, somewhere around 2), I was playing in the yard. I found a stick, and then I found a hole in the ground. Being the genius that I was (and am), I started poking around the hole to make it bigger. All of the sudden, a fleet of bees rushed out of the hole, and into my onesie (something like this). I believe I was allergic to bees (I haven't been stung since, so I'm not sure) so I started swelling up to about the size of Big Red Bird. Mama was gardening in the back yard, so she didn't get to me with the swiftness of a Cheetah on crack, but our dog at the time - a Golden Retriever named Samantha - arrived promptly upon my first voice-crack of a cry. She ripped off my onesie and pulled all the bees off my skin. I've been told several versions of this story, and everything thus far has been consistent (except my Mama says it was wasps, not bees. Details.), but I'm fuzzy on what happened next. My sister says Mama picked her up from school, and took her with us to the hospital. Mama says I wasn't hurt badly enough to go to the hospital; she gave me enough Benadryl to knock me out, and I was just fine. Either way, Samantha and I were my sister's Show-and-Tell the next day, and I ended up with an epic story.

Needless to say, I have a fear of bees. I mean, I don't freak the fuck out when there's a bee near me. I can calmly brush one off as to avoid getting bitten or stung, but my heart races and my mouth goes dry. I've made peace with the bees. They're necessary in this world: pollination, honey, awesome costume option... I just don't want them around me.

As of about a year ago, Mama is a bee keeper. I think she's got 9 hives now. Those bee hives are a few blocks from home, though, so I can rest easy while visiting. She's so good to me. I'm proud of her. She's saving the (non-africanized) bee population in Marin County, and helping scientists do good research on bee health across the country. PLUS I get free honey. Fun fact: local honey is really good for those with allergies, because it's got all the local pollens in it and allows your body to build up protection from those pollens before they can affect you. Unfortunately, honey from her bees are no longer local for me, seeing as they're 1500 miles away from Austin. C'est la vie.

Music Monday (Top 15)

A reoccurring theme has risen: Favorites. I'll be the first to admit that I normally use this word lightly, when talking about my favorite movies, music, books, etc. (Except food. Everyone knows Rice is my absolute and only favorite). I have several definitions of the word, in regards to different situations: mood, location, company, etc.

HOWEVER, there are a few songs that have withstood the test of time and have remained on my internal list of favorite things for a long enough amount of time that I can officially deem them favorites. Essentially, this is my list of songs that I (so far) have not grown tired of, and do not anticipate to anytime in the foreseeable future. So, without further adieu, these are the 15 songs I'd choose if I could only listen to 15 songs for the rest of my life:

"Moondance"

from the album Moondance

"All the nights magic seems to whisper and hush"

This is a constant in my life. Whatever mood I'm in, I can turn this song on and instantly feel at least 10x better. It's not about the lyrics so much as the instrumental elements complimenting Morrison's captivating voice. He could be singing in gibberish, or just humming, and I would still consider this to be my favorite song of all time. If it weren't called Moondance, I'd say it makes me want to dance on the moon, but now it just sounds corny and predictable. The music captures the essence of what it feels like to dance under the light of the moon. It makes me feel beautiful.

"(Sittin on) The Dock of the Bay"

I feel like I'm home when I hear this song. I know I just left San Francisco, and I'm supposed to be working on making Austin my home, but I know my place is in San Francisco, just not right now. I have to explore before I can go back home. When I hear this song, I'm taken back to the San Francisco Ferry Building, where I used to sit on the dock and watch the ships go in and out of the bay. I'd stare at the Bay Bridge and wonder where everyone was going, and about everyones life stories. I think about these things a lot, you know; what others have gone through to become who they are. I'll see someone drive by and I'll wonder about them. If there's anything sacred in this life, it's a story.

"The Con"
from the album The Con

I don't know what they're talking about. I know that pain, though. The kind of pain where everything going on inside your head - your emotions - really only make sense to you. You try to get it out, but nobody gets it. It's one of the loneliest feelings I can think of.

"What I Got"

from the album Sublime

"Life is too short, so love the one you've got; cause you might get run over or you might get shot"

I have this distinct memory of hearing this song in my Jeep (back when it was my mom's) with my big sister. I was singing along to some other song - probably something gangsta, cause my sister told me to stop singing it - and she turned this one on, and taught me the lyrics. I was probably around 8 years old. It was the same day my sister put her foot out the window and a motorcyclist drove by and pinched her toe, scaring the shit out of her. If not for that golden memory right there, I love this song because it helps keep me grounded.

"Don't Stop Believing"

from the album Escape

This song follows me everywhere. It all started about three years ago when my friend started playing it over and over and over in my car. From then on, I'd go into a grocery store and hear it. I'd go into a clothing store and hear it. It started playing on tons of TV shows I was watching. I'd hear a kid sing it on the street. I started watching Glee, and it was the first song they sang. I started going to Giants games last year, and it became their theme song...

I decided it was all in my head. It was probably playing everywhere before I ever noticed it, since it is a damn popular song. Then I saw this in my Spanish class today:

"Joy to the World"

from the album Naturally

"If I were the King of the world, tell you what I'd do: I'd throw away all the cars and the bars and the war, and make sweet love to you"

I used to sing this in Tennis practice. It got to the point where I got tons of others to sing along with me because I sang it every day. It kept up morale. When I feel like singing, I sing this song. This, or either of the Oscar Mayer commercial songs ("My bologna has a first name" and "I wish I was an Oscar Mayer wiener").

"Loud Pipes"

from the album Classics

"Dada dada dadadada. Dadadada da dadada. Dadadada da dadadada"

This song gives me goosebumps and heart palpitations. Ratatat gave the second best show I've ever seen (nothing will beat RATM for me). This song is pretty self explanatory. It's awesome.

"That's All"

from the album Genesis

"Just as I thought it was goin alright, I found out I'm wrong when I thought I was right."

"I could say day, and you'd say night. Tell me it's black, when I know that it's white."
"I could leave, but I won't go, though my heart might tell me so. I can't feel a thing from my head down to my toes."
"Turning me on, turning me off; making me feel like I want too much."
"Running around, staying out all night. Taking it all instead of taking one bite."

This is how all of my relationships, if any could legitimately use the word, end up. I get tired of people quickly, and they usually get tired of me even faster. We end up arguing about nothing, and obviously I'm always right (even though I know I'm wrong). I keep with it, optimistic that my head is just trying to push this person away and I'll get over it, but I end up completely numb. I don't like or dislike this person, now that they're a constant. So I abuse myself physically and emotionally, just trying to feel something again. This is why I don't do relationships.

"The Freshmen"

from the album I've Suffered a Head Injury

"When I was young I knew everything"

"I won't be held responsible, she fell in love in the first place"

"My best friend took a week vacation to forget her, his girl took a weeks worth of Valium and slept"

"For the life if me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise. For the life of me, I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins; we were merely freshmen"

"We've tried to wash our hands of all of this. We never talk of our lack in relationships"

"Road to Nowhere"

from the album Little Creatures

"Would you like to come along? You could help me sing this song"

Yes. Yes, I would like to come along. I grew up on this song. I grew up on the whole Little Creatures album. My mom had a very select few cassette tapes for the Jeep, and this was one of them. This, some Bob Marley, Joe Walsh, "Soul Sisters", Portishead, Aerosmith, and Shawn Colvin. That was it. All those, over and over and over and over again for years. I still listen to all of them. I still have no idea what the dude in Talking Heads is saying in half of his songs.

"Unwell"

from the album More Than You Think You Are

I can relate to the whole lyric, so I shall paste it in a scrolley box

All day

staring at the ceiling making friends with shadows on my wall.

All night

Hearing voices telling me that I should get some sleep, because tomorrow might be good for something.

Hold on

I'm feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown, and I don't know why.

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Me

I'm talking to myself in public, dodging glances on the train.

I know

I know they've all been talking 'bout me, I can hear them whisper, and it makes me think there must be something wrong with me

Out of all the hours thinking somehow I've lost my mind.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep

Pretty soon they'll come to get me

Yeah, they're taking me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

This song vocalizes my neuroses. Pretty much all their songs are relatable, especially those in Yourself or Someone Like You: Real World, Long Day, 3 AM, Push, Back to Good, Argue... I'm not ashamed to say I really enjoy Matchbox Twenty. I think Rob Thomas is a good singer, and [most of] their songs are golden.

"Under the Bridge"

from the album Blood Sugar Sex Magik

"Sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in"

Ok, I realize this song is supposed to be about drugs or some shiiiiiiit like that, but for me it represents a connection to the environment you're in. Where ever I am, I find some sort of connection to keep me grounded there. In Auburn it was the train tracks. San Francisco had the hills over-looking the city through the fog. Austin, I have yet to find my connection. I think it might be the lake (river). I could sit for hours staring at the water. All of these elements are unique to the cities in which they lay. They may not be unique features in regards to the existence of hills, train tracks, and lakes in other areas, but train tracks don't have the same effect in Austin as they do in Auburn; there are no other hills with the same views as those in San Francisco; no other lake is like Lady Bird. I get a natural high from these features. I find bliss, contentment, and relaxation from them. I realize I'm a dirty hippy.

"Iris"

from the album City of Angels

"And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life. Sooner or later it's over, I just don't want to miss you tonight"

We've already talked about what happens in my relationships, but I find this song vocalizes how I feel. I find that when I'm in a relationship, I already have the mindset that it's over. It's a blessing and a curse. It allows me to enjoy it for what it is, and let myself flow freely; but also keeps me from allowing myself to make a real connection. I give my whole self to a person, without ever opening up. It leaves me feeling lonely, but stronger all in the same.

"The Girl"

from the album Bring Me Your Love

On a completely opposite note, this song makes me want to fall in love. Dallas makes it sound so simple, being in love. I love all of the songs on this album. Constant Knot almost replaced this song in my list, but I felt I needed something more optimistic. Wating... and Sleeping Sickness are both also beautiful songs. Go download the whole album. Do it now.

"Boston"

from the album Midwest Skies and Sleepless Mondays

"I think I'll start a new life; I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name. I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather."

Whenever I was feeling down, I'd listen to this song to remind myself how easy it is to just leave. Then, it was easiest to relate to this song because Boston is so easily changed for Austin (except for that line about the snow), but I find it still has the same stigma for me. I'm not planning on leaving, but it's comforting to know that I have the option. I need to be able to feel free.

And there you have it. My favorite songs.

Bat Fest: Filter (Review)

"Sorry we're not 'Lady GooGoos' and 'Justin Bieeeeeeebers', but we use fucking profanity. This is Punk Rock. Right?"

I don't thoroughly enjoy Filter via their albums, but then again I never really gave them a try. When I heard they were going to be at Bat Fest, I consulted my iTunes and found I only had one song by them: Take a Picture. Live, however, they were pretty glorious. They engaged the crowd and got me excited to be there. Dude acted like he was 23, not 40s (which is what he is. 40s).

Not everyone was enjoying themselves, though.

Don't bring your babies to a fucking Filter concert.

Austin Bat Festival

People in Bat costumes, and a few live bands. It's all goin down RIGHT NOW until Midnight. I'll be there around 10 to see Filter and Bob Schneider.

DID I MENTION IT'S FREE?

KLBJFM Stage North end:
Bob Schneider & Lonelyland 11:00 - 11:59pm
Nakia - "Final eight on the voice!" 9:00 - 10:30pm
Bat Costume Contest 8:15 - 8:45pm $200 CASH PRIZE! ADAM WEST appearance
Suzanna Choffel 7:00 - 8:00pm
Akina Adderley & the Vintage Playboys 5:30 - 6:30pm
White Ghost Shivers 4:00 - 5:00pm

101XFM Stage South end:
Filter 10:30 - 11:59pm
Alpha Rev 9:00-10:00pm
The Black & White Years 7:30-8:30pm
Eyes Burn Electric 6:00-7:00pm
Indofin 4:30-5:30pm

Wheeler Brothers

My roommate and I went to a show over the weekend featuring 3 local(ish) bands. I say ish because The Orbans are from Fort Worth.

The Wheeler Brothers had a huge following there. Everyone seemed to know the words to all the songs, and a huge amount seemed to know the members of the band personally. I can't get one of their songs out of my head. It's been constantly playing in my brain-earlobes since Saturday, and I'm losing sleep. I bought their album.

When I have a song stuck in my head, I can't sleep. I'll stay up all night replaying it in my head. I used to think listening to the song would allow me to find closure and finally close my eyes, but it only further entrenches the lyrics and melody in my system.

I digress. I present to you, The Wheeler Brothers-

ReDesign

With my lack of Austin social context, I have decided to do a blog re-design. I realize how much this does not affect (effect?) you, but I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm trying to figure out which tags I want to make more prevalent. Meaning, I'm trying to decide what I really want to write about on this here dealy.

Lately I have been contemplating writing a blog called Hardly Strictly East Side, but I don't feel like a real resident yet. I should wait, what, at least a month to decide I know all there is to know about the area, right? So what I think I'll do is simultaneously explore Austin while writing about my discoveries. Hey, wasn't that the plan before I moved here? Yeah.

So this brings me back to tags. Austin will obviously be one of them. I'm enjoying this music monday thing, because I get to pretend I'm a music snob, while keeping to a strict schedule. So Music will be another. I've got a ton of ideas for exploring movies, so that'll be another... what else? San Francisco, I guess, but that'll probably sit idle for a few months seeing as I'm not actually there. Transportation adventures! Yeah.

Any other ideas?


Also, how should I do my color scheme?

p.s. if anyone wants to collab on a redesign, I'll love you a little.

Music Monday (I'm on a roll!)

For this here Merry Musical Monday I have chosen to explore songs that make me giggle to the point of nearly shattering my ribcage. Well, OK, maybe they don't make me laugh that hard. But these songs are pretty damn funny, don't you agree? I've also come to the decision that there is no point in posting a video that is not an actual video (via Caleb), so in the absence of such a video, I shall post a soundcloud or grooveshark.

Let us begin:

"Three Point One Four" - Bloodhound Gang 

"Vagina vagina vagina vagina"

I sang this song during P.E. in 8th grade. Back then, it was the shit. And now? Still the shit. I mean, these guys are dirty geniuses to come up with the lyrics to this, and to Bad Touch (yall remember that one, right?).

Full lyrics

My last girlfriend didn't like me, thought she might be

Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me

Lefty? Yeah but that was alright

She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright

My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony

I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company

Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky

So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys

Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word

So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd

I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color

And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother

But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy

And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?

Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee

You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina

Any kind of new vagina

It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina

Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina

Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt

It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up

I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters

Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture

No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese

Preferably for me fat-free American singles only

I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner

Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner

Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat

If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap

Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough

No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up

Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo

She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know

Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee

You know what I really want in a girl? Me

I need to find a new vagina

Any kind of new vagina

It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina

Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina

Vagina vagina vagina vagina

Vagina vagina vagina vagina

"Tutti Frutti Summer Love" - Gunther

"It's a No No, and you like it."

This guy broke into the scene with Ding Dong Song, and then became an international sensation. I first saw this video when my cousin showed it to the entire family on Christmas, and what a grand Christmas present it was! I mean, this video is re-donk-u-lous in every respect. 

0:15 - Those boys are not wearing any protective gear. Who allowed them to leave the house in tighty whities? And why are they in a self proclaimed "sexy" man's music video? Europeans are strange.

0:27 - RANDOM fat dude in a casual friday t-shirt got leid and learned to pick at a guitar.

0:35 - These girls are not very attractive in the face, are they? I kinda want to use an eraser on their faces, starting with their mouths.

0:41 - Pencil stache and a mullet. Winning.

0:44 - "Honey you're so cute" tighty whitey dude is in the air.

0:47 - Why are the women more clothed than then men?

0:48 - "Bananas, melonas" subtle, Gunther.

1:34 - The reflector has been stolen. Uhoh.

2:15 - Shake those tighty whities!

2:42 - Silhouette in front of the full moon. Poetic. Really illuminates the "No No."

3:14 - PENIS

"Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" - Tracy Jordan (Morgan)

"So we pulled ourselves together and were Wolf men again, just in time for Monster Fight to begin! (Noooooo)"

Normally I wouldn't condone that of Tracy Morgan because he is a homophobic bastard, but here lies the acceptation. My sister, my brother-in-law, and I have had quite a laugh to this song, and it hasn't gotten old (for me) after about a year of constant play. I just love the interaction between Tracy and Donald Glover. Donald actually wrote the song, so that makes me feel better about liking it.

full lyrics

Donald Glover: Aw man, Tray, look up at the sky! It's a full moon... on the Sabbath.
Tracy: This is... scary!
Producer: Break it down.

Tracy
I was working late on my Haftorah
when I heard a knock on my bedroom-doorah
I opened it up and to my surprise
there was a werewolf standing there with glowing gold eyes
he says tomorrow my son you will be a man
but tonight's the time to join the wolfen clan
tomorrow you will stand at the bimah and pray
but tonight let's gaze at the moon and bay

Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

Donald Glover: Alright, that was great Tray.
Ok, it's over. That's a wrap!

Tracy
The next day what happened, the Talmud didn't teach
Donald Glover: Oh, there's more...
Tracy: I got up in front of everyone to give my little speech
then my teeth turned into fangs and my nails into claws
and I nearly dropped the Torah when my hands turned into paws
I growled and I roared and my rabbi did as well
it was a rocking werewolf zoo at Temple Beth-Emmanuel

Donald Glover: Ey man, where'd you learn all these Jewish words?
Tracy: My manager, Harvey Lemmings.
Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

Donald Grover: I don't, I just don't think this, the idea of the song can sustain its self for that long because it seems a little sweaty now
Tracy: This whole premise is sweaty.

We had a reception at the Larchmont Country Club
they served a real nice brisket and an eight foot party sub
I danced with my cousins, I got money from my folks
we had a lot of fun making circumcision jokes
Donald Glover: Uh-uh
Tracy: then I remembered the premise of my song
I was at a nice reception but the werewolf part was gone
so we pulled ourselves together and we're wolfmen again
just in time for monster fight to begin
Donald Glover: Noooo...
Tracy: all the country club employees were brainsucking pack
who had all turned into zombies and were on the attack
Donald Glover: No, man...
Tracy: so we fought them and some draculas and frankensteins too
cause you gotta love bar mitzvah, even if you're not a

Donald Glover: There's no such thing as "Frankensteins"..."steins". No plural Frankenstein.
Tracy: Werewolf bar mitzvah
Spooky scary
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

Werewolf bar mitzvah
Kooky hairy
Boys becoming men
Men becoming wolves

I don't want this... I don't like this... this is scary! Turning into werewolves and stuff, you know?
Donald Glover: I dunno Tray, I'm not feeling it. This ain't no "Dick In A Box".
Tracy: [Arooououou!]
Donald Glover: Mazal tov.

"Peacock" - Katy Perry

I love ChatRoulette. I love crazy videos that come out of chat roulette. Like this piano guy. And this guy that draws people... but especially this peacock dancer. I mean, the song was funny even before the video, but this just makes it 10000s better.

Sorry I only came up with 4 today. It's my first day of school at ACC, so I hope that's a good enough excuse.

I'm going to give yall a homework assignment (mostly because I don't have time to make a playlist right now): look up the following songs and tell me on a scale of 1-10 how ridiculously hilarious they each are, and give me some examples of songs that make you laugh, because this list is starting to get a little dated.

Afroman "Crazy Rap"
The Bloodhound Gang "Three Point One Four", "Bad Touch"
Dropkick Murphys "Irish Drinking Song"
Foxy Brown "Candy"
Gnar Kill "Erection"
Gogol Bordello "Start Wearing Purple"
Gunther "Tutti Frutti Summer Love", "Ding Dong Song"
Joe Walsh "I Like Big Tits"
Katy Perry "Peacock"
The Lonely Island - any song ever.
Lyle Lovett "Don't Touch My Hat"
Mickey Avalon "My Dick", "Waiting to Die",
Paul Thorn "Viagra", "It's a Great Day to Whoop Somebody's Ass"
Tenacious D "Fuck Her Gently", "Tribute" and anything else ever.
Tracy Jordan "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah"

Music Monday (on a Wednesday)

Hello Internets,

I haven't had internet access (aside from my brief stint at Progress Coffee, where the coffee is good but the wifi has you age 30 years before you can load a 00:30 youtube video) since Thursday night. Apologies.

For this Music Monday (on a Wednesday) I choose to explore the kind of rap I can stand to listen to for more than 5 seconds. Lil Wayne! (No.) Lil Jon! (No.) Lil Cease! (No.) Lil Kim! (No.) Lil Romeo! (No.) How many fucking "Lil"s are there?

I was reminded of these artists recently when someone asked me what kind of rap I listen to. I'm not really sure where to genretize (yeah, made it up. genre-tize) these artists. According to my iTunes, they're "Progressive Rap/Hip-Hop," "Underground Hip-Hop/Rap," "Urban Crossover," and "AvantGarde." This is generally my whole playlist from the summer of '08, when I spent all my days at the river, and partying in the woods.

Atmosphere

"You can't grow if the skin don't fit you."

"Slug" is a white rapper, and together with "Ant" they make Atmosphere. The best way I have ever seen Atmosphere described comes from a youtube comment on this video: "this song sums up any sad, drunk facebook status you could ever post." Amen, gdlovesugly. Every song that I've ever heard from Atmosphere tells a story, and gives a slightly open window into Slug's life. Today he's playing in St. Louis, then off to random places around the US except SF or ATX, and then hopping over to Europe. I see how it is.

Aesop Rock

"While avoiding the vile and bazaar that is violence and war, true blue triumph is more."

Aesop's real name is Ian Matthias Bavitz... Of course he'd have an epic name like that. Why not? If you couldn't guess from his lyrical accent, he's from Long Island. He graduated with a BA in Fine Arts at Boston University. If that's not enough, want proof he's a smart cookie? He now lives in San Francisco.

Sage Francis

"I want your suicide to be a book of mine that I never finish."

I know nothing about Providence, RD. That being said, how does a little fat white boy living in effing Rhode Island decide he wants to be a rap artist? How many of his friends actually believed he could do it and stuck with him while the others relentlessly picked on him? Whatever happened throughout his life, he has become a premier independent rap artist with lyrics that melt my soul. I've probably listened to "Slow Down Ghandi" at least 30 times now. "But some of yall still haven't grown into your face, and your face doesn't quite match your head. And I'm waiting for a brain to fill the dead space that's left. You're all 'give me ethnicity or give me dreads.'"

Eyedea & Abilities

"I'll still smile ear to ear as if that's all I'm here for."

This is a fairly recent addition to my music collection. It wasn't part of my Summer of '08 playlist. A friend told me that if I liked Atmosphere, I'd like this guy. Eyedea's lyrics in all his songs question the collectively perceived reality and suggest a more subconscious existence of self. They're poetic. As with most lyrical geniuses of the somewhat-modern era, Eyedea was on a multitude of drugs, which ultimately allowed him to meet his demise in October of last year (though the police won't say which drugs he was on, and officially ruled the death as an accidental overdose). Perhaps he has found a higher level of consciousness and finally tore the walls down.

CunninLynguists

Ok so I don't really like this song but the video kills me. It's glorious and illustrates exactly how I pictured the characters in this group before seeing them. So watch it, and then listen to my favorite song below it.

"I'll never learn to brave the waves if I stand by the docks."

In "Love Aint," Tonedeff is featured rapping the opening sequence. He's featured on most of CunninLynguists albums, and as such a regular, I consider him as part of the group. He's considered among the fastest rappers in hip-hop history, and I believe it! Furthermore, I love this group.

That's all for my discussion and youtube linkage. I'll throw in a few more for my 8-Tracks playlist.




Track List
"None Shall Pass"
"Conversation with a Devil"
"Painting"
"Get With the Times"
"Lynguistics"
"Smile"
"Stand Up"
"Halo"
"Crossing the Boundary"
"I Against I"
"Concrete Schoolyard
"Mathematics"
"Eclipse"
"Abstractionisms"
"Slow Down Ghandi"
"If You Can't Say Love"
"White the City Sleeps"

Email Coupons

It's the age of coupons.

I just sent my mother an email listing my favorite email coupon services, so I guess I should do the same here. Obviously I favor those catering to SF and Austin, so if you're in or frequent either or both, you're in luck! All (except scoutmob) are the kind of coupons that are actually vouchers. You buy them online, and redeem wherever they are.

First off, I must mention DailyDibs because I just found them tonight and am pretty darn stoked about it. They go through most of the sites I'll list below and show the daily deals all in one place! So if you don't want to get all these straight to your email, you can select your city from the drop down (pretty sure they've got everywhere) and see the list.

Scoutmob
Scoutmob is my absolute favorite. They have iphone and android apps, and unlike the others I shall list, you don't buy a voucher; you present the coupon to the cashier and they give you that % off your purchase. Just like a coupon should be, right?

They currently have deals for San Francisco, Austin, Chicago, Portland, Seattle, LA, Denver, Dallas, Nashville, Atlanta, DC, NYC, and Boston
They're supposedly adding San Diego, Phoenix, Minneapolis, Houston, Philadelphia, Miami, and Charlotte soon.


Groupon
This guy is the big one, I guess. Everyone knows about it, so why don't you? Where have you been? They, too, have iphone and android apps. Dig it. They are everywhere. Almost all major cities around the globe. Go get it.


LivingSocial
No, I don't mean the game that was on MySpace and Facebook where you vote for which of your friends is the biggest nerd, or whatever it was. This guy has lots of fun things, like rock climbing and burlesque classes. They're also in most major cities in the US, and also in Canada (where I'm not allowed to go, but that's a whole other story). Go climb some rocks!


HomeRun
I got a nifty teeth whitening kit for $20 on here, but I haven't used it yet. And I left it in SF. Figures. They're all over: Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Columbus, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Houston, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Kansas City, Las Vegas, LA, Memphis, Miami, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Nashville, NYC, Oklahoma City, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Portland, Sacramento, Saint Louis, San Antonio, San Diego, San Francisco, San Jose, Seattle, Tampa, and DC

Zozi

I have forgotten my password for this site and had to reset it 3 times now. I always use the same password though, so I'm not sure how this happened. Curious. Anyway, I'm not going to link to 62 goddamn cities (some of those being in Canada), so go find yourown.


SF Station (SF)
Obviously this is only relevant to those in SF. They have a lot of VIP table services, contests for VIP tickets to concerts, and speed dating vouchers. OH LOOK- that's what they have up on their site tonight. Go figure.


MyBART (SF)
Again, only relevant to those in SF. You don't have to ride BART to get deals from them. They have some pretty rad contests every week (usually 3 contests at a time, and you can enter all 3 once a week), as well as suggestions for free things to do around the city, and coupons (not vouchers, coupons) redeemable at places near BART stations.


Localiter (Austin)
I just started getting emails from these guys, and haven't gone for any of their deals yet. They're only in Austin for now, and coming soon to Boca Raton, Waco, Melbourne (FL), Charleston, Bellingham (WA), Port St. Lucie, and Fayetteville. Did someone working there get a map of the US and randomly point to a few cities and say "Yes, let's do that one"?


DealSwarm
I also haven't used this one yet, but got it once I moved to Austin. They're only in Atlanta, Austin, Dayton, Reno, Seattle, Tampa, Tulsa, and West Palm Beach. Coming soon to Jacksonville, and San Antonio. I feel like the same person that made location decisions for Localiter decided for DealSwarm...


Pinchit (SF)
This one is only available in San Francisco, Silicon Valley, and Maui, but their facebook page is only for SF, and they also appear to have a deal at Shasta, Costa Rica, and India... They have this comment feature where you tell them your favorite spots, and they go get deals for you. I'm skeptical as to their success rate, but intrigued. Too bad I don't live in SF anymore. Someone else should try it and tell me if they come through.




I haven't personally used or signed up for these others, but I'll throw 'em out there anyway because they seem to be legit:

KGB Deals
Atlanta, Atlantic City, Austin, Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Cleveland, Dalas/Fort Worth, Denver, Houston, LA, Minneapolis, NYC, Orange County, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Portland, San Antonio, San Diego, SF, Seattle, St. Louis, DC

Eversave
They serve 58 cities, so chances are pretty good that they've got you if you're in a major city in the US.

Tippr
Atlanta, Austin, Baton Rouge, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Honolulu, LA, NYC, Philadelphia, Portland, San Diego, SF, Seattle, DC

BuyWithMe
Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Dallas, Denver, Houston, Kansas City, Las Vegas, LA, Miami, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, NYC, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Portland (OR), Portland (ME), Providence, San Diego, SF, San Jose, Seattle, DC, Worcester

DealOn
They've got 57 cities, but not Burlington (yet). I say this because it's the only city under their "coming soon" tab.

Dealster
I guess they have badges? The whole reason I use Foursquare is for the badges! They don't have a list of what cities they're available in, so type in your zip code and see what's up. Gogogogo!

TravelZoo Local Deals
Available basically everywhere.


I'm SURE there are probably others, but seeing as it's currently 2am I should probably get off this light box.

I wanna write something but I have no subject, so I'll embed a bunch of youtube videos. Again.

I DECLARE IT MUSICAL MONDAY

It has come to my attention that I don't have the same musical repertoire as everyone else, so allow me to enlighten you with some big names, small names, and all around eargasmic material.

p.s. should I turn this into a weekly thing? I'm probably to irresponsible for a blogging schedule, but I could pretend I'll do it... My musical taste changes every week, so it'd be a perfect mixture of goods and services week to week. I shall provide this week's preferential treatments below.

Since I'm now an ATX resident it is my duty to begin today's Musical Monday with Austinites.

T H E     L O C A L S

"Be Yer Fool" - The Happen-Ins

"Does she get mad? Oh no, she explodes."

My local favorite. I've been here 11 days and I already have a local favorite! The Happen-Ins came to my attention via my favorite Austin blogger Tolly over at Austin Eavesdropper. (p.s. how adorable is ms Tolly? Damn adorable, that's how damn adorable.) I haven't actually seen these guys play live yet, seeing as they're currently on tour (playing in Tennessee, last I checked). Ever heard of them? Yeah I didn't think so. Check their full album over on their MySpace. Download all their glorious shieeeeeeeeeeeet over there too.

"97 Reasons"  - Uncle Lucius

"On the road is where I'm going, on the road is where I'll be found."

Threadgills is the first place I saw a live show in Ausitn, and boy was it spectacular. You can order godly delicious food inside, and bring it out to eat whilst watching some great bands have a grand ol' time on stage. Their main dishes come with "vegetables" which is just a euphemism for a side, unless you count Mac & Cheese as a vegetable. I digress. Uncle Lucious had a great vibe going on. They apparently knew everyone in the joint, or pretended to, at least. Some of their songs lasted an excruciating eternity, but aside from that, they're golden. They have a myspace, too.

"It's About Me" - Slowtrain

"It's about me, it's about me, it's about me. It's all about me."

Please Please go to their website and listen to "Bound to Find You Out" because it's glorious and I'm in love with it but I'm too lazy to embed it. I also saw these guys at Threadgills. They opened for Uncle Licious, and also appeared to know everyone there. They've got some great lyrics in each and every one of their songs. They seem to be an Austin staple, according to my AirBnB host (who was also the guy that suggested we go to Threadgills in the first place. Thanks dude!).

O T H E R        D U D E S

"Countdown" The Black Keys

"You done stole my heart but you can't take my mind."

Would my list be complete without a Black Keys song? Absolutely not, is how that question would be answered. I just can't seem to shake these guys out of my earbuds. I get tired of one song, and accidentally find another treat upon each push of the "next" button. I dance in my underwear to this song.

"Kiss with a Fist" Florence + The Machine

"You hit me once, I hit you back. You gave a kick, I gave a slap. You smashed a plate over my head, then I set fire to our bed."

How can a gal be so damn adorable while so extremely violent? Not to mention the adorableness of this entire music video. She's so cute! If you haven't heard of her already, get out from under that rock and join us.

"Toothbrush and My Table" Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

"I don't care which way you think the story might have went. I've already recollected all the love I wish I had not spent."

Grace Potter is way too cute. I love this whole song. I can feel the emotions she must have had whilst writing it. I guess you can't really tell here, but if you watch Paris (Oh La La) (which is my favorite song) you'll see her perfect fashion sense. I want her wardrobe. I guess I'd have to get her body first, though. And long blonde hair. Hmmmm.

"Behind the Moon" Matt Costa

"All the stars point me to you and lately they just drive me crazy."

I don't remember who introduced me to Matt Costa's songs, but I'm sure glad they did. (Nate, was that you?) All of his songs are perfection. This song is intoxicating, through and through.

There ya have it, folks. I'm beat.
Here's all the songs in one nifty playlist: