Saturday, April 30, 2011

San Francisco Summer: May 2k11

My calender has been filling up with activities and goings-on of San Francisco this summer, so I'll probably post events each month on here for yalls enjoyment; maybe even an events calendar widget. I won't be attending everything, but you might as well go and tell me all about it. Of course there are thousands of other events, being the beginning of summer and all, but here's the highlights:

May 1st (Sunday)

I will not be attending any of these, for I will be at the ballet in the afternoon!

Glen Park Street Fair

glen park street fair pic
Last year; photo courtesy of

This festival has been around since 1997 but I had never heard about it until I saw it on in the free section. It looks to me mine a regular ol' street festival with the normal food, community leaders in booths, flea market jewelry, and the like. Apparently they have life music, "great food" and raffle prizes... tell me how it goes? [clicks here dude]

Boat Parade

opening day boat parade in sf bay pic
Opening Day Boat Parade

It's a friggen parade of boats! Get yourself down to Fishermen's Warf (or anywhere on the Embarcadero), get yourself some lunch/cocktails, and watch the boats float by.

How Weird street faire

how weird faire 2011

Never been, but a little intrigued. The about page is much to long for me to attempt reading at this juncture, but yall are welcome to tell me the cliff notes. I'm guessing it's full of the normal SoMA freaks that make their way outa the houses once in a blue moon, in which case, I'm there! I'll probably stop by for some eats and tunes after the afternoon ballet. (look at me, all cultured n shit, goin to a ballet!) Apparently if you donate $10 you get a MAGICAL STICKER! As if getting a fucking sticker wasn't enough, it's magical? I sure hope it gives me the superpower I've always wanted: understand and speak/write in any and every language in the universe.

May 5th (Thursday)

it's a thursday, and I'm a responsible student (teehee) so I probably won't be celebrating  too hard, which means I haven't really researched all the fantastic mexican events in the city. I do, however, know that FREE cab rides will be available...

Free cab rides

Yeah, that's right kids! It happened on New Years, it happened in St. Patty's day, and it'll happen again for Cinco de Mayo. Berg Injury Lawyers apparently want you to get home injury-free, so they're paying a shit-ton to cater to the bay area's need to drink and get home (without driving, duh). Deets:
San Francisco: (Within city limits only) call Luxor (415) 282-4141
Alameda, Oakland, Berkeley: (Within city limits, and home to SF)  call Veterans Cab (800) 281-4488
  • Rides available from 3pm-3am
  • Cabs must be requested by phone
  • When calling the cab, tell them Berg Injury Lawyers are picking up the tab
  • Rides are not guaranteed for everyone (worth a shot though)
  • Must be picked up at a bar/restaurant (not somebody's house) and taken straight to your house (or where you're going to sleep that night)
  • Maximum fare $35, you pay the difference over that

There ya have it. Be safe. [clicks here for more info]

May 7th (Saturday)

Not only is it my sister's birthday, but plenty of fun shits goin down in the mission. I'll be at Great America, so have fun without me!

Cinco de mayo @ Dolores park

10am-6pm at Dolores Park
if you don't know where that is, you don't belong there.

5th cinco de mayo in dolores park

Plenty of booze, food, and latinos running around the mission. What else is new? This is sure to be a grand ol' time. Stop by, see what's up, eat some great food for me.

icee hot loft party

icee hot flyer

Kitsch Gallery is closing! They're planning 3 fairly large events, so at least they'll go out with a bang! Icee Hot is their first of the series, featuring fabulous DJs with beards and aliases. Go drink booze and jam till "late" for $5. Bargain!
[I'll post about the other events when I know more]

May 8th (Sunday)

Sunday streets (mission)

Sunday Streets is basically just a day where a major street is closed to traffic to promote walking, biking, and skating.
But what exactly is it? From the website:
Sunday Streets is a series of events put on by the City of San Francisco to encourage health, community and fun, inspired by similar events in cities throughout the world.  A Sunday Streets event creates a large, temporary, public space by closing off stretches of a neighborhood’s streets to automobile traffic, and opening them to pedestrians, bicyclists, and activities for several hours on a predetermined Sunday.

This Sunday Streets will be held in (where else?) The Mission. I mean, really. Do I ever talk about anyplace else? Aside from Austin, of course. Valencia will be closed off (except to cross traffic on the even numbered streets) from Duboce to 24th, and 24th st will be closed from Valencia to Hampshire (except to cross traffic on major streets). Streets will be closed from 11am-4pm. Will I be there? Yeah; the fuck kinda question is that? You better be too.

May 15th (Sunday)

Gee, what on earth could be happening on this day?

Bay To breakers

crowd seen at bay to breakers

This would not be a complete San Francisco summer list without Bay to Breakers, Pride, Outside Lands, and free shit. This year is the 100th anniversary of Bay to Breakers and in honor, San Francisco has the finest celebratory change planned: no booze and no floats. I've also heard no unregistered runners allowed, but I'm not entirely sure this is correct. On the subject of booze-less B2B, yeah go ahead and bring your cleverly concealed liquor in eco-friendly bottles ironically labeled "water" and the like, but be warned that this years volunteers are on the prowl for violators of the new order. Anyone caught with alcohol will be a) arrested b) fined c) cited or d) all of the above. On that note, here's a map of liquor stores along the B2B route, though some might be closed in honor of the new rules. Oh and if this is all jibberjabber to you because you've got amnesia from drunken accidents at the last B2B and don't remember wtf it is, click here. My friends and I will go dressed to the friggen 10s. That's right, 10s, not 9s. Cause thats how we roll.

This is also the anniversary of my rabbit's adoption day, and because I rescued her and nobody knows her birthday day, we'll be celebrating her 2nd birthday on this date. Happy birthday, Kitty!

May 21st (Saturday)

movie night @ duboce park

the rock movie poster

The Rock is among the 4 movies I can tolerate spending any amount of time with Nick Cage (the other 3 being Grindhouse, G-Force, and Fast Times at Ridgemont High). Have you ever been to Duboce Park? This will probably be my first trip over there, but well worth it to hear Sean Connery say "Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." Yeah, we we we so excited.

Event is free! Movie starts when it's dark, probably around 8ish. This won't be as crowded as the Dolores Park movie night.

May 27th (Friday)

Pride night @ Great america theme park

(this will be the highlight of my month)

flyer for pride night

Robyn (that adorable chick from the '90s that sang Show Me Love) is headlining because apparently she's popular again? At least she is with all the gays in SF. Whatever. DEV IS GOING TO BE THERE! With the Cataracts, of course! Plus all the rides will be open (except the children coasters and water park, but who does those at night anyway?) and it'll be gay central! Night starts at 6pm and ends at 2am. I'm going with a special lady and a few friends. Buy tickets here or win them at various Castro parties. I believe they raffle off a ticket at Ladies Night @ Trigger every tuesday, but I could be making that up. Did I mention the event is all ages? See ya there.

How cute is Dev? She's my guilty pleasure. She could bend any straight girl.

Apparently this song came out like 3 years ago, but I just discovered it and have had it on repeat for the past week or so.  Robyn is adorable.

May 28th (Saturday)

if you're not too hungover from last night...


burlesque dancer at carnaval

Carnaval is a pretty low-key event for the Mission; unless you want it to be chaos, in which case there's plenty of booze, culture, food, and people to make it that way. Last year I brought my bunny to the parade on a harness and I was the belle of the ball. This year I'll try to make it, but no promises. The pupusas are glorious and well worth the trip. The parade starts at 10am on Bryant & 24th street, and heads down 24th to mission to 17th st. The festival goes all day along Harrison.

Other May activities

May 3rd (Tuesday) my friend Priscilla will be singing with her band Palavra at Elbo Room. The band is Brazilian and phenomenal. Show starts at 9pm at Elbo Room (Valencia between 17th & 18th). Facebook it.
May 14th (Saturday) another brazilian friend (have I mentioned how many Brazilians I'm friends with?) Neto is promoting a dance event at Mist (11th st between Folsom and Harrison across the street from Slims) featuring brazilian DJs spinning brazilian beats. If you know the brazilian scene in the SF Bay Area like I do, you know it's bound to be an insane night. $10 at the door, 21+. Facebook it.

And of course the regular monthy/weekly events that are always present:
Whisky Wednesdays @ Benders (19th st & S. Van Ness) every wednesday- I might actually make it to one of these... fingers crossed... haven't been in a couple months...
Free Zoo Day for SF residents @ SF Zoo every 1st wednesday of the month (may 4th) - bring proof of residency
Free Academy of Science Days every 3rd wednesday of the month (may 18th); and for SF residents - dependent on your zipcode, apparently... my 94134 days are may 27, 28 & 29th. Find yours here.
Giants 29 games this month. I might be at the one on the 6th, so who wants to come too?

Anything else I should know about? Let us know in the comments section, por favor!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Hunky Jesus Contest (Happy Easter)

Self proclaimed "The Hunky Jesus" (didn't actually win)
Self proclaimed "The Hunky Jesus" (didn't actually win)

I've got a few things to go over with yall, kids. 1st being the real story behind Easter (wtf do bunnies and eggs have to do with Zombie Jesus?), and 2nd: The Hunky Jesus Contest at Dolores Park earlier today.

Each and every year I must remind my friends of the true spirit of Easter. My mother told me the story long ago: It was a well known fact, in the villiage, that  Jesus was going to come back and grace them with his presence. In preparation for His arrival a few things had to be done: any and all barbed wire had to be taken down, every house had to be repainted, and eggs were to be unseen. Why eggs, you ask? Jesus had a terrible problem with high cholesterol, and nobody forgot this! His favorite breakfast item, though, was indeed eggs benedict. He couldn't help himself! The village had to take it upon themselves to hide all the eggs so Jesus couldn't have even the option of indulging his unhealthy habits. When He arrived, the first thing he noticed, of course, was the lack of readily available eggs. When asked where all the eggs had gone, one towns-person replied, "Well... uhhhhhhh you see, Mr. Jesus, Sir.... We had a problem with the rabbits stealing them, and that's where all the eggs have gone. Sir." Jesus left in a fury. In order for the village to avoid reeking of rotten eggs over the next few days, the children were enlisted to search the fields and bring them all back home.

And that, my friends, is the true story of Easter.

On with the Hunky Jesus Contest!

condom nose jesus
Drunk Condom Nose Jesus

"Before and After" Jesus(es)
"Before and After" Jesus(es)

Grilled Cheesus
Grilled Cheesus (behind the sister)

Sacramental Jesus
Sacramental Jesus

Sumo Wrestler Jesus
Sumo Jesus

Nun Whipping Jesus
Nun Whipping Jesus

"The Hunky Jesus" penis
not impressed.

There you have it, children.
Videos will be added to my youtube shortly (I'll probably post them here or on my tumblr once they're done uploading), and more photos (with play-by-play!) are up on my brand spankin new flickr page.

Happy Zombie Jesus Day, err'body!

Here's the video containing footage of the winner: Jesus *Fucking* Christ

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Pray for Texas?

I've decided to follow more Austin blogs so I can get to know the city before moving there. Since I follow SFist, I figured it'd be a good idea to follow Austinist. Today they brought to my attention an article that further entrenches the hole I've dug myself trying to defend my reasoning for wanting to move to Texas. Governor Rick Perry has proclaimed the next 3 days "Days of Prayer" for rain in Texas. Look how official-like it has been stated:
NOWTHEREFORE, I, RICK PERRY, Governor of Texas, under the authority vested in me by the Constitution and Statutes of the State of Texas, do hereby proclaim the three-day period from Friday, April 22, 2011, to Sunday, April 24, 2011, as Days of Prayer for Rain in the State of Texas. I urge Texans of all faiths and traditions to offer prayers on that day for the healing of our land, the rebuilding of our communities and the restoration of our normal way of life.

Yeah, the state has sustained tremendous wildfire damage. We get that. Yeah, Texas is stereotypically "Jeasusville" in the eyes of basically everyone. This just makes it harder for me to defend the state against ignorance. Sure, prayer wouldn't hurt, but if rain does come in the next 3 days, I'm sure Perry will find satisfaction in his mandate and suggest the prayer was the solution.

I sure do hope that rain does come, but I'm not going to pray for it, and I'm not going to feel bad not praying for it.

I still want to move to Texas.

[I'm grogy and sick. Don't blame me for this poorly written piece of crap. You get what I mean, right?]

[Perry's Proclamation]
[Article @ Austinist]

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I don't like the word blog.

Lets talk about what I've come to find every blogger I follow to discuss:
Wordpress Vs. Blogger

Obviously we (I use the word "we" loosely, seeing as my dear friend Caleb has not posted in months...) at Titsncrackers  are using wordpress. I've actually noticed something very interesting. I'm not sure if this is true for everywhere because this is only judging by following a ton of bloggers from 2 cities (Austin & San Francisco) but I've noticed that physical proximity generally determines the blogging platform you see new-comer bloggers use.

I chose to blog via Wordpress because a majority of the blogs I follow in San Francisco are using Wordpress as well. What I did not know, however, was the difference between and Since we started on the .com I've come to find that all the blogs I follow that use wordpress are using .org. I've also noticed that all the blogs I follow from Austin are using Blogger. At least on Wordpress you don't have to see the word blog every time you post a new entry. I really don't like that word.

Upon my move to Austin, I figure I'll have more substance to write about. I'm planning on starting a new blog that will document my experiences the week before, the journey to, and my life in Austin. I'll still post here if Caleb wants to keep it because I am guaranteed to have unrelated topics to talk about that must go somewhere, and here is the greatest outlet.

So where should I post this fabulous new blog that is sure to land me a book deal and fame and fortune? I've never used blogger, and have come to get used to the quirks of wordpress. I've found that with different themes you can use different widgets. I've figured out how to use each widget and wtf a widget even is in the first place. I figured out "featured images" and how to put an image into the body of a post. I figured out how to save drafts, and what an "excerpt" is and a "trackback." Sure, it's fairly easy for me to figure out a new interface, but am I trying to say I fear change? I think I've just challenged myself.

I guess the best way to go about this is to create a test blog to feel blogger out. I'd really love some input though. What does everyone prefer? What are the benefits and cons of either? Gah I'm so confused. Should I be looking into any other blogging sites? Blogspot? Livejournal? I guess I should research this and get back to you.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Forgive me, for I must whore myself for a few looksies.

I came across a tumblr account by the name of isthatagirl and was given a lovely suggestion by a lovely writer. Now, normally when I look at "surveys" I think of MySpace bulletin board (was that what it was called? Goodness, I've forgotten already) and how annoying it was to see everyone posting the same surveys with their special, methodically answered responses. I mean, they're fun to do, but did anybody honestly read one-another's entries if they weren't BFFs or "dating" or whatever?

the new MySpace bulletin board

Back on point: isthatagirl posted a day-to-day posting schedule of LGBTQ Q&A that I've actually found to be quite inspiring. In their first entry, they explained their sexual orientation to be "queer" which I had no idea meant to be gender neutral, in a nut-shell. I always thought the word was a generality of LGBT, but it makes so much sense now. I'm very excited to see their answers to the rest of the survey, and have taken it upon myself to do it as well in hopes that my answers will be at least interesting, if not help those questioning their own sexuality.

I'll be answering these on my tumblr but shall provide my first answer here along with the list of questions. Apparently you're supposed to answer 1 everyday for the next 30 days, but I can't promise discipline. I have enough trouble finding time to post on this god-forsaken site once a goddamn week.
LGBTQ Challenge.

Day 1 - Your sexual orientation or gender identity.  Be creative in your definition.

Day 2 - Did you have any experiences as a child that might have foreshadowed your sexuality?

Day 3 - How old were you when you knew? What was that like for you?

Day 4 - The first person you came out to and that story

Day 5 - Thoughts regarding inner turmoil about your sexuality; Did you have any? Did it escalate to self-injury or suicidal thoughts?

Day 6 - Did you face any problems regarding religion?

Day 7 - How your parents took it or how you think they might take it

Day 8 - What do you think the closet or being closeted means to you?

Day 9 - What do you think about LGBT Pride? Is it helpful or hurtful? Encouraged or unnecessary?

Day 10 - What does marriage mean to you?

Day 11 - Your favorite LGBT book (or one you’d like to read)

Day 12 - Your favorite LGBT movie (or one you’d like to see)

Day 13 - Your favorite LGBT role model/celebrity

Day 14 - Your favorite LGBT song or artist

Day 15 - Your favorite LGBT quote

Day 16 - A picture from your first LGBT relationship or of your first LGBT crush

Day 17 - Your first experience with an LGBT organization or event (Day of Silence, Pride, etc)

Day 18 - Something about the LGBTQ community you don’t understand or have a question about

Day 19 - Butch or Femme?

Day 20 - Maureen or Joanne? (Or your favorite LGBTQ show or queer-positive show)

Day 21 - Political LGBT issue that is closest to you or affects you most

Day 22 - An LGBT image that makes you smile

Day 23 - An LGBT image that makes you cry or makes you angry

Day 24 - The stupidest argument/comment you’ve heard about gay people or an LGBT issue

Day 25 - The LGBT slur you hate most or if you’ve taken back a slur and used it as a definition, ie queer or fag.

Day 26 - Your favorite gay joke (we all need to laugh at ourselves)

Day 27 - Your favorite LGBT blog/tumblr/site

Day 28 - Write a letter to someone. It can be a coming out letter or a letter regarding how you hate their homophobia or whatnot. You don’t have to send it.


Day 30 - Anything LGBTQ you’d like to end this on

In case you were unaware of my sexual orientation, you shall be informed via my response to the first question:
Day 1 - Your sexual orientation or gender identity. Be creative in your definition.

My first love was a boy, my second a girl. I was raised never to judge anyone. I was told to make friends based on how well I get along with them, not by their gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, what-have-you, and I’ve learned to apply this to my love life as well. When I see a person, I see a person, not the color of their skin, wether or not they have breasts, what shape their nose is, etc. I see who they are and how they can, and do, make me happy, and how happy I could, and do, make them.

I rant farther. 
I really have no other way of explaining how I’ve come to find myself bisexual. I’m not a straight girl that’s looking for attention, and I’m not an ashamed lesbian. Bisexuality gets a bad name as of late. I think that’s a shame, for I believe it to be a beautiful concept, and my happy reality.

I'd love to see more answers from more people. It'd be awesome if Caleb would do this too, but I have not heard from him since our birthday! For shame!

P.s. yeah, I went on MySpace for that screenshot of the bulletin board. Turns out I had 9 friend requests, 2 messages and 1 alert. It's been over a year. Apparently you can connect to MySpace via facebook now.

connect to Myspace via Facebook
Oh stop it, MySpace. Nobody likes you anymore.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

5 Year Old Girl Kidnapped in Ingleside

This morning I was on my way to school - one of the few times I actually got up early for this task - and hopped on the bus without my daily dose of energy drink (go me!). I was feeling good: going to get to school on time, in a happy mood, freshly showered... my Tuesday best. It's always these types of days when something goes wrong. I just didn’t think I’d get accused of kidnapping and lose all faith in humanity.

On my bus was a child that I assumed to be the daughter of the man sitting across from her. They seemed to be having a family-esque conversation, so I thought nothing out of the ordinary. She was an adorable little thing: tiny asian girl, probably around 4 or 5, thin black hair in 2 pig-tails sticking straight up, wearing a yellow dress with pink flowers (even though it was freezing outside), and a hello kitty backpack. She basically had the sunshine beaming through her eyes and made me happy through her abundance cuteness.

The man she was talking to got off the bus, and she was alone sitting next to me. I thought this was very odd. 4 year olds don’t ride the bus alone; a public bus, no less! I asked her if she was alone and she stared at me blankly for the rest of the ride. Once we got to City College, the last stop, we were the only 2 left on the bus. I asked the driver if he saw the girl get on the bus with anyone but he brushed me away and informed me, “if I had a photographic memory do you think I’d be driving this damn bus as a fucking career? Go to school.” Good point, sir.

The little girl sat on a bench on the sidewalk, pulled her backpack around her body and clutched it like a life jacket. I sat next to her and asked if she had school today: blank stare. I asked her about if she liked Hello Kitty (it’s on her backpack, I’m not racist): blank stare. I asked her where she goes to school: blank stare. I asked her if she saw the last episode of Rugrats (granted, probably not the best question for anyone younger than 16): blank stare. Finally I just stood up and asked if she was hungry, to which she replied "I want Pizza."

I started to get really nervous. I don't know this child; she could be allergic to something, or directed by a parent to wait at the CCSF parking lot, or any number of things could be wrong with me hanging out with this little girl. I wanted to take her to a police station, but I didn't know where the closest one was. Was this an appropriate time to call 911? I don't know the phone number for the local police, so should I? I decided to take her across the street and buy her whatever she wanted from the cafe while I thought about what to do. My phone was dead, so calling anybody wasn't an option. Besides, I didn’t want to get police involved if this were an honest mistake of some sort. I tend to think the best of people, and I remained optimistic. My best bet was to continue trying to talk to her to figure out what she was doing alone.

While she ate her chicken fingers I tried again to get her talking, but nothing worked. Just blank staring. I stared back. She wasn't blinking, so I wasn't going to blink either. Her eyes widened, I made a funny face, she smiled and blinked. "Captain Underpants!" She chuckled, to which I shook my head and laughed. Now came the talking. The non. stop. talking.

"I know how to read, you know! Do you know how to read? You're big, so I think you know how to read. I read Captain Underpants a'cause it's really really funny. It's about a boy that wears his underwear over his pants! You're not a'spossed to wear your underpants over pants! [teeeheeeheeehee] What a silly boy. My name is Kiko but my friend calls me Bear a'cause she says I look like a care bear when I wear my shirt with the heart on it. You can call me bear too, if you wanted. I don't mind. I like your hat. Do you have a sister? I like big sisters a’cause they can give you ice cream when you’re not a’sposed to have any."

I asked her why she was on the bus all alone, where was she going? "To bring this to my sister a'cause she was sad." She went through her backpack to pull out a picture she drew of a bear hugging a flamingo, which actually looked more like a bear flossing it’s teeth with a fairly large pink string, but I treated it like the masterpiece it was intentioned to be. I asked her where her sister is and she stared at me blankly again, tears welling in her eyes. She didn’t know.

I asked her where she lives and she told me about all the soccer fields next to her house, and the big hill with a pond her dog likes to play in. I took her with me onto the next bus and we headed for McLaren, which wasn’t far. Once we found the soccer field she plays on, she led me back to her house where we found her mom sitting outside. She looked up at me and ran towards us, I imagined for a slow-motion type embrace with her once lost but now found child, but her face got increasingly tense as she passed Bear and came straight for me. I was dumbfounded when she began screaming at me, half in english, half in chinese. Bear was crying behind her mom with her dad holding her. I wanted to scream at her mom but I remained calm, even when she said she was going to call the police on me.

A neighbor crossed the street to asses the situation and I explained to him what had happened, and he translated to the mom. She accused me of kidnapping and I told her she was lucky I didn’t call the police and social services for negligence. She was lucky her daughter didn’t really get kidnapped, or worse. Any number of things could have happened to that adorable little girl. The neighbor thanked me and told me to leave. I waved goodbye to little Bear and went back to school.

I have a 5 year old little sister and I could not imagine her wandering around Ingleside alone, or even taking a bus alone. That’s insane. If something like this ever happens again, I am calling the police. I really hope Bear is ok because she is quite possibly the most adorable little girl I’ve ever encountered (aside from those I am related to, of course).

I am infuriated.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I crashed my sister's entire '80s wardrobe

Fashion. This is a word that to me means: stuff people hang upon their naked bodies to make them relatively less naked. Sure there’s “bad” fashion, Haute Couture, Target/JC Penny wear, etc. but I must highlight my favorite of all: Individualistic. Now this, to me, is a genre of fashion all on it’s own - it cannot be defined by one characteristic, or even many definitive characteristics, individualistic fashion is defined by it’s sheer lack of a characteristic definition. Case in point: a female in my geology class this semester (I say “female” because I feel uncomfortable calling her a Lady, Woman, or Girl because she is a] not classy enough for the “Lady” label, b] Not apparently old enough to be a Woman, c] Though she is not masculine, she is not feminine enough to be called a Girl).

**Clarification: I am in no way shape or form making fun of this poor gal. I do, in fact, admire her courage to stand out as much as she does.

This female (her name escapes me, though I’m sure I once knew) has her hair cut and died in the Skunk style that was popular with “Hipsters” and “Punks” for about a week last year, but it’s so damaged that she actually appears to have a multi-colored skunk atop her head. Her hair is died black (judging by the white-white-white paleness of her skin I must speculate her to be a natural blonde) with a darkish purple died in the mid section and blue adorned throughout. Did I mention this look is a mohawk? Yes, she does have the sides of her head shaved, but so shallow that it doesn’t feel right calling it a mohawk. Reverse mullet, maybe?

On one particular day I took a tally of her entire appearance from head to toe because it was just so phenomenally wacky that I had to remember every detail. In her left earlobe she wore a giant green rose earring reaching her shoulder, and in her right earlobe: a smaller red rose earring with purple ribbon adornment reaching her other shoulder. Upon her neck lay a thin black rope with a fairly large wooden cross pendant and several gold, black and silver chains tangled around the rope. On her wrists she had an assortment of small black bracelets amongst large black wristbands with white skulls. All these bracelets were semi-hidden by her black arm warmers.

She wore a black, velvet peacoat with marching-band-esque buttons and a bright blue fuzzy pen in the breast pocket. Hanging off her shoulders was a purple scarf with large pink polka-dots. Under the jacket she wore a white sweater with big black asymmetrical hearts sewn throughout, a blue-flower green-feathered shirt under the sweater, and a blue strappy tank-top under the shirt.

As if the chaos that was her torso wasn’t enough, Andy Warhol graced her with his presence in the form of multi-colored Marilyn Monroe patterned leggings and (I kid you not) soup can decorated ballet flats. Oh and I mean soup cans. Not pictorial, actual Campbell’s soup cans cut and pasted onto her shoes. On top of all that, she rocked some black, flowered ray-bans and a bright fire-engine-red purse.

I wish I could draw this out for you, but I honestly wouldn’t know where to start. If anybody out there wants to take a stab at it, I’ll let ya know if you got it right. It was a true sight to see.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Southwest Airlines- Still worth the cheap fare? is on top of their shit

Today I was reading SFAppeal when I came across something a tad surprising. Mind you, I am living under a rock. This is a proven fact. Researched and concluded by myself, because I do not keep up with the news. At. All. I don't have TV, I don't read news papers, I only skim news sites every so often, so forgive me for finding this shit a day after it actually happened:
Airline management announced this morning the grounding of 79 Boeing 737 aircrafts after a 3-foot hole ripped in the top of a plane carrying 118 passengers toward Sacramento from Phoenix, Arizona at about 3:25 p.m. Friday.

A hole. A 3-foot HOLE. Excuse me?
The plane landed a short time later in Yuma. A flight attendant and at least one passenger suffered minor injuries in the commotion, and they were treated and released once on the ground. No one was taken to a hospital, officials said

Ok so it's not a LOST type of emergency, but easily could have been. Southwest is taking the appropriate measures to repair the damage, and to ground all planes of the similar make and/or age to thoroughly inspect them. This caused major cancelations yesterday and today, as well as major flight delays, and we will probably continue to see delays in Southwest scheduled flights as the week progresses.

Read what I read at SFAppeal, as well as any other fucking news source, including where I got the above picture amongst great detail about the flight and aftermath. Southwest probably also deserves a peak.