Sunday, October 2, 2011

Vice... on Acid

I have never done acid, but imagine it to be a throwback to the 60s, where everything around you is tie-dye-esque and monsters crawl out of peoples' noses, and other such things. I also thought that acid was illegal everywhere and trips weren't broadcasted to the world over the internet. Then again, Hunter S. Thompson existed.

Vice Magazine, founded in Canada and based in NYC, is among my favorite (online) magazines because the articles are witty and entertaining. I just discovered today (via Tumblr) that Vice Magazine UK has a series of articles depicting various activities done on acid. Uhm, excuse me - what? What makes it even better is that the author is named Jamie Lee Curtis Taete, so at first glance I imagined Jamie Lee Curtis doing acid in the UK at Fashion week, which could have been more entertaining than the actual article.
She's got arms growing out of her legs.
The first in the series was a trip to a theme park... on acid. The read is mildly entertaining, but nothing spectacular. The guy that actually does the acid definitely looks like a guy that would be on acid. I was unaware that theme parks were open while it's raining. You learn something every day.

Dude on acid - looks like he's on acid.
At one point they go into one of those aquarium tunnels where you're surrounded by fish swimming over your head and such. That's probably the most entertaining part. The dude on acid tries to explain "how many levels of 2D were making up the 3D image," but they don't go into that much, which is disappointing.

Holy shit moment?
The second in the series is a bit more entertaining: spending a the night in an abandoned military base... on acid. Terrifying, no? No. Hilarious, actually. The second guy they get to do the acid trip (see what I did there? play on words, because it's a trip and he's gonna trip) also appears to be a guy that would do acid. In fact, he looks a lot like a guy I knew in San Francisco that I assume has done acid.

I look like a guy named Zach
Look at that. I want to do that. I want to sit on an abandoned tank. Let's go spend a night in a military base! No. It's terrifying... if you're not on acid. This BAMF walked around holding a leggo torch (that's what the Brits call flashlights) and explored attics, poked a dead sheep, walked around a giant "people eating oven", and was never phased by creepy sounds coming from the ceiling or strange people driving around them in circles playing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" while shinning torches in their faces.

Yeah, lemme explore this hole in the ceiling alone. I don't give a fuck!
The third in the series features the first guy that did acid, and could have been my favorite of the series, if it didn't suck so hard. This guy decided to interview KEVIN SMITH on acid. I mean, it's Kevin Smith. He's on my list of heros (which could be a blog entry in the future) for such films as Jay & Silent Bob, Clerks, Dogma, and everything else he's touched (aside from Jersey Girl). So how could this not be great? Well, the greatest part is when Kevin strokes the interviewer, and the fact that he's talking non-stop while the interviewer is staring at his shiny face.

[This is where I would normally embed the video, but I can't seem to do it on Blogger (time to switch back to Wordpress) so yall are gonna have to go watch it on Vice's website]

"Kevin Smith took away my high."

In the third article, we get to see a girl do acid at London fashion week. This was the first one I read, seeing as the Tumblr linked me to it. This one was awesome. She meets some celebrities that couldn't give a FUCK about her, and she gets bad vibes from them. Then, she sees Kelis's ass and gets the good vibes going again. Really, I couldn't put it into better words, so go read it.

The latest in the series is Druids... On Acid. This time Jamie Lee Curtis takes a break from journaling, and lets Tom Watson take over. Really though, why wouldn't you do Druids on acid? Why would you do Druids without acid? I don't really know what a druid is, but they appear to be some religious congregation in white robes chanting about spiritual things. So really.

"That was such a nice trick." "I have no idea what that meant."

"Hippies make so much sense when you're high" could be my favorite line in all the articles. I mean, it's obvious, but grand.

"That was the pointiest thing I've ever felt."

Watson ends the article saying "It turns out spending time with friendly people wearing nice white robes in a nice park on a sunny day on acid is actually quite a pleasant experience." That's about the sum of it. Nothing spectacular.

In all, the series is mildly entertaining and worth a read, but nothing mind altering or even spectacular. The initial shock factor that these articles exist is more shocking than the actual articles.

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